Conclusions about Surry Hills



After working at my current job for almost a year, I have made some conclusions about Surry Hills that I feel I should share with you all.

1. At any given time, no matter where you are in Surry Hills- you will be able to smell one of four things (or a mixture of them all). They are:
– Urine
– Sewage
– Cigarette smoke
– Vomit
The most vulgar mix of all of these is the vomit/sewage combination. And if you, like me, have massive aversions to this mix- avoid back alleys and park benches.

2. Homeless People smell really, really bad. I never knew the value of running water until I started being so close to homeless people. Humans produce absolutely vulgar odours.

3. EVERYONE does cocaine. I mean, speaking for myself, I think that spending $300 on a tiny bag of white poison is a waste of my income, and I couldn’t ever justify spending that every week. But people here actually budget this in to their weekly pay. It’s like , sorry kids. You can’t have new shoes because I need to buy a bag of coke tomorrow night! Soz (not soz).

4. 24 hour city-mart type stores are literally the epitome of human scum and they prey on the vulnerable and tourists with their overpriced products. I walked past one today, where they had a “sale” on bottled water. 2 for $7. What a bargain. It’s worse because they put their shops directly opposite hotels so that tourists don’t know that if they just literally walk 50 metres around the corner, they will find an IGA that sells the exact same products, with more variety, for a quarter of the price. These people are the reason that Australian tourism will fail miserably.

5. Just because a shop is called “The $2 shop” doesnt mean that they sell cheap products. I honestly don’t know how they stay in business, because I feel like whenever I go in one of these shops, they have stock literally falling from the shelves and boxes of crap everywhere. I went in one time to look for wrapping paper. They were selling it for $10 a roll. I was like “are you messing with me right now?”. The only conclusion I have come to regarding these stores, is that they are laundering money from their drug business. It’s probably flourishing because everyone in Surry Hills is an in-denial drug addict.





The day I decided to buy a second kelpie was the day I gave up the luxury of coming home from work and doing nothing. If it’s raining outside and blowing a gale, your kelpie will not say “No problems, Human. I will just sleep nicely all night and let you rest”. No, no. Unless you want to be woken up all night by an overly excited pair of restless dogs, or have all of your furniture and pillows shredded to pieces- you are taking those dogs for a walk despite the weather conditions.

Kelpies are extremely smart dogs, so they need a lot of stimulation to keep them happy. I try and imagine what I would feel like if I was stuck in one spot, all alone, for the entire day. It would be mind-numbingly boring and I would probably go crazy and rip up pillows too.

So, today.. when the heavens opened up and released a torrential storm- I made a worried face as I put my joggers on. My dogs looked at me, curiously, as if to say “What’s your problem? You’re not made of sugar”.

Anyway, after my walk/swim, I had to go and get dog food and pick up pizza for dinner- looking like this.




I don’t like getting involved in other peoples problems. Despite this, I always seem to be in the middle of some dramatic life change or choice that someone has confided in me about. Nobody ever takes my advice though. Maybe that’s the reason. People just want to talk your ear off and cry about their problems. They just want you to listen and say “man, that sucks”. I must have a face that screams “tell me all your secrets!”. I must have got it from my mama. But seriously. Everyone always cries to my mum.

I always wonder about other peoples problems. It is such a time consuming exercise. When I’m on the train next to someone, I wonder what they are feeling and if they cried that day, or if someone made them feel bad about themselves, or if they feel alone most of the time.

I really want to know.




I was talking to my Oma on the phone today, and out of the blue she interrupted me and said “You know, darling, I just really love you so much”. And I said, “well thanks Omy, love you too”. And then she said “No, really. You are so beautiful, inside and out and I just never want you to forget that”.

People think that because someone is related to you, that it means their compliments aren’t sincere or don’t count as much. I used to think that. But then I met this person who doesn’t have a grandmother that loves him. And both of his grandmothers are very much alive, well and (arguably) sane. I didn’t even know people like this existed, but apparently they do. And apparently they aren’t that hard to come across.

It’s made me realise what a BLESSING it is to have grandparents that love you. I have 4 grandparents that love me dearly and always want to give me presents and talk to me and hug me. When my Opa passed away, I went to his garage and found a framed picture of a drawing I had done for him when I was 7, hanging on the wall. I went to my Nanna and Grandads house recently- nek minute- I walked out with a massive bag of bees wax to make candles with, various succulents, material, gardening tools etc etc etc.

When I was born, my Oma made me a crotchet blanket. I still have it, and it’s one of my most prized possessions. I can’t wait to pass it down to my daughter one day. Whenever I tell my Oma something, her reaction would indicate that I’d told her that I had won a million dollars. It’s so wonderful to tell someone something, and then them be just as excited as you are.

I love my Omy. But it makes me sad that not everyone gets a grandmother like mine.




So- when we first booked our trip to the Philippines, we decided we wanted to go to the sea-side town of Donsol, where you can go swimming with whale sharks. We couldn’t get flights on the right days and it was all very frustrating, so we changed the plan. It’s funny how things work out, and you think you know best.. but really, you have no idea. Over the weekend a huge typhoon swept over the Philippines, and directly in the firing line was Donsol. It got hammered. (See above)

It wouldn’t have been much fun to go to Donsol, considering it’s basically just a big piled heap of mouldy crap now. And I’m assuming the whale sharks wouldn’t want much to do with the area either. It was a nice, gentle reminder of how little control I have over my life, and that God always watches out for his children.

Christmas Tree



I made my Christmas tree today. Well, it’s in progress. I found a nice  branch in the bush and I used a handsaw to cut off the grubs and growths and make it in to a lovely skeleton. You should probably know the reason I am doing this: I absolutely loathe Christmas trees. Look, I understand the whole excitement thing of buying a hideous, green piece of plastic, putting tinsel on it and being like “it’s Xmas bitches!”, but obviously I am a Christian, so this holiday has a lot more meaning to me than a few Christmas decorations. I don’t even think most people know why Christmas trees are a tradition.. It infuriates me- and I’m not even 100% sure I understand why non-Christians celebrate Christmas. It really confuses me. But I’m not even gonna attempt to open up that can of worms.

So anyway, my husband grew up with real Christmas trees, I grew up with plastic trees- and I hate them both. So we compromised and now my poor husband has to live with a white branch in his house.

That’s how I know he loves me.

Auction City, Bitch.



We went to an auction to buy discounted products for our reno property today, and like any place that provides similar services- there were crazies everywhere.

Have you ever been in one of these situations, when you just look around and think “do I really belong here?”. I thought these exact things today as I was wedged between a Chinese woman screaming at an employee because he wouldnt help her (and then she threw her drink bottle at him and they kicked her out)and mothers with screaming kids, running all over the furniture and breaking things. I mean, I understand.. these people can’t afford to pay someone to look after their child for a few hours (which is why they are at a discount place trying to save money), and it’s unfortunate.. but man, there were times today when I thought that saving money was not worth putting up with the heat of the warehouse, the screaming children, their screaming mothers, pushy muslim people and quiet Chinese people that don’t understand how the auction works- always running up to the auctioneer mid-sale asking “what you sell now? How much? I buy?”.

I wonder if those people looked at me- an eager young girl who won’t take no for an answer, who pushes through crowds to get the best seat and cuts in front of slow people because she can’t be bothered to wait- and thought the same thing. I wonder if they thought they deserved to be there more than I did.